How to get Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe’s weirdest achievements

Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe brings new endings, updated graphics, and a slew of wacky achievements.

The original Stanley Parable from 2013 was notorious for many things. The witty writing and postmodern concept were very ahead of their time. But for achievement hunters, the game is a total pain.

The remastered version of the game ups the ante with a bunch of weird trophies to earn. Completing all the Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe achievements takes a very determined player. These three stick out as the most extreme achievements in Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe.

Ultra Deluxe wants you to ignore it for 10 years

Most achievements reward players for playing the game, but this one is a notable exception. The Ultra Deluxe achievement Super Go Outside requires players to not open the game for a whopping 10 years. Few achievements require a decade of work, but this one is thankfully very passive.

This achievement is actually a reference to the original Stanley Parable, which had the infamous achievement Go Outside. That game required players to drop Stanley Parable for five years. It seems developer Crows Crows Crows wanted to really test people’s patience for achievements with Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe.

…Then come back and play it for an entire Tuesday

Once you’re finally done with that first achievement, it’s time to buckle down and open the Stanley Parable right at midnight on Monday. The Commitment achievement requires players to keep the game open for an entire Tuesday. Considering that the game launched on a Wednesday, it’s going to be a few days before any gets it legitimately.

This achievement uses the computer or console’s clock to determine when it’s Tuesday. Savvy users can just manipulate their system settings to get this achievement on any day, but that really takes the fun out of it. This achievement is actually copied exactly from the original Stanley Parable, where it was also named simply Commitment.

How to get Test Achievement Please Ignore in Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe

Test Achievement Please Ignore is the most mysterious Stanley Parable Deluxe Achievement of all. The trophy icon is even the iconic Source purple-and-black checkers signaling a missing texture. While the devs want you to ignore it, there’s actually a very complicated way to achieve it. 

Players must first unlock the expo hall ending, which will spawn six hidden bobbleheads hidden around the office. Then they must collect them all to launch a special epilogue to Stanley’s story, and then visit the “Free Achievement” room in the expo hall. Once done, the machine will finally work and grant the placeholder achievement.